Debating about a G-J tube

On Friday, it was looking like Julia would be getting a G-J tube. This is basically a G tube (a feeding tube that goes directly into the stomach) that extends into the intestine. However, yesterday, a resident doctor came by and told me that they were going to be consulting the heart failure team to decide if Julia's heart was up for the procedure. To place the GJ tube, Julia would be put under anesthesia and they are not sure her heart is strong enough (or the risk is low enough) for that. They don't want to risk making it too difficult for her to recover. This was a bit concerning to me because that means that Julia is not very strong. She is also not gaining weight. She keeps hovering around or just below 8 lbs. One day she gains, the next she loses. It has been this way for several weeks. I am scared, I must admit. I'm trying to stay "positive" but I'm scared. It really wears on me to see my sweet pea in the hospital every day. She is still having horrible dry heaving spells and they can't figure out if it is because she is pooping or if she poops as a result of the pressure from dry heaving. It is absolutely horrible to watch her. She'll dry heave 4 or 5 times in a row. Her face turns red and it completely wears her out. Then after it is over, she almost always gets hiccups after. Poor little pumpkin. Talk about ripping a Mommy's heart in two. Hopefully I will find out more today about the GJ tube. We'll see.

I just pray that God protects Julia from too much suffering. I just don't want her to experience too much pain. That is more than I can take. My heart is breaking for her.