Today was filled with many mixed emotions... two months ago today, Julia passed away in my arms on this couch where I am sitting. Today is also Easter, the day we celebrate Jesus' resurrection. It is typically a day of celebration. Jesus has overcome sin once and for all. Today, however, I had many mixed emotions. I found myself grateful that Jesus had overcome sin because that means that I will one day get to go to Heaven. My main reason of joy should be the fact that I get to be with God for eternity. However, today, I couldn't help but be grateful that one day I get to go to Heaven so that I can be reunited with my sweet baby. I will actually be reunited with all 3 of my babies who are there waiting for me, it's just that I haven't met 2 of them yet. It is Julia I miss. As pastor Brian talked about the weeping Mary Magdalen and her grief over Jesus' death, I related to her. I was weeping inside over the death of my baby. Brian said that possibly because of Mary's tears and outpouring of her heart, that God revealed Angels to her at the tomb where Jesus' body had been whereas John and Peter did not see Angels. In her grief, God blessed her.
A friend emailed me today remembering Julia's death and tying it to Easter. I liked what she said: "There were dark days, and then He rose. And I know you will too." Those words were very encouraging to me.
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