Conversation about Julia

My good friend Karin emailed me today to tell me about a very sweet conversation she had with her kids about Julia.  I wanted to post it because I want to keep and remember all the ways the memory and impact of Julia's life lives on.  It is a blessing and comfort to me despite all the pain that surrounds it. Thank you, Karin, for taking the time to email me today.  

So the kids and I were talking about sewing which led to talking about how Josiah and I made that quilt for Julia before she was born and Josiah was not yet three. That led to about half an hour of questions and talking about Baby Julia, her life, her health challenges, what you did to care for her, what happened when she died, and that we'll see her again someday. The questions were so specific and they were so interested and attentive. And Hope didn't know what to think when I started to cry as I talked about how we thought she and Julia would grow up together. 

It was so lovely and sweet. Sadly sweet. It just seemed you should know how much Julia was part of our day today. I'm still in tears. 

Love,

Karin

Karin's kids and Julia's life are forever intertwined because Karin's daughter, Hope, was born just 5 days after Julia and Julia died on her son Josiah's birthday.    

Not forgetting

Today 4 years ago Julia's heart beat for the last time.  I was there holding her.  I will never forget.

Life tends to take over and I think it especially tries to take over on significant days when I am supposed to stop and sit and reflect.  Today of course has been crazy.   I had a 2 hour meeting this morning with a woman who is helping me with my credential coursework.  I had 10 minutes to drive from that meeting to an hour long meeting with the child psychologist we just started seeing in regards to Mattie's recent ADHD and dyslexia diagnosis as well as in regards to her transitional issues with moving here to Colorado.  I have assignments I am supposed to be working on and I need to leave to go pick up Mattie from school and then take her straight to the community center where she will do her homework and take her tap dancing class.   It is non stop.

But I decided I would sit here and post on Julia's blog today by hell or high water because I feel I owe it to myself and I owe it to Julia.  I did get to tell the child psychologist our whole story today.  I brought my picture book that I made of Mattie and Julia and our family.  It felt good to share our story... of miscarriages and infertility and of Julia and her life and death.  I got to tell her what an impact Julia's life has made on other people's life.  I got to share how Bob and I stayed steadfastly committed to one another despite all the stress.  And I got to share how God was foundational in it all to giving us the strength to make it through to where we are now.  I also got to share that I plan to have some serious conversations with God when I get to Heaven because I still have a lot of questions that will not get answered here on Earth.  I got to be real and I got to share.  It helps to share because it gets it out.  It is nice to be known by someone else in a place where hardly anyone knows me at all.  So far, around here, I mostly carry my story alone.  Over time that will change... but for now that is the way it is.

So today, despite that fact I still feel like a chicken with my head cut off half the time, I am remembering Julia and all the events that happened today at the time that they happened.

I will not forget.

An unexpected email from a Lucile Packard staff member

I could not believe seeing Mandi's name in my inbox this morning!   She and I had several heart to hearts during Julia's time at Lucile Packard and she was very supportive of our family.  I have not spoken with her for at least 3 years!  It is amazing she found my email AND took the time to email me!   It is so significant and meaningful to me knowing the Julia is still alive in the thoughts and hearts of others and her life is still making an impact.  I truly believe that God does not waste a single life and I have been shown time and time again that Julia's life was truly special and significant.  


Dear Val,

Many years have passed and I just wanted to drop you a quick line that I still think of Julia and your family and I hope that you are doing well.  I imagine Maddie is in grade school now and I hope you are still enjoying Tahoe. 

My husband's work has taken us to Denver and I miss Packard and the many families and colleagues I knew there.  I've been meaning to email you for quite some as I wanted to share something with you.  During my last weekend at Packard, I met a wonderful family and I shared with them an unexpected Down's diagnosis in their new daughter.  I don't think I have the adequate words but I truly believe that because of my experiences with Julia and your family, I was able to help this family in a way that I wouldn't have otherwise been able to.  Your little angel, Julia, is continuing to do good things at Packard!

My very best wishes, 

Mandi