"What?!? Josh is in Heaven?!?"

Yesterday I was at my friend Karie's house with Mattie for a playdate. Karie and I were sitting on the couch chatting and the girls were playing about 10 feet away with some little animals. We were talking about a playdate we had just the day before at our friend Emily's house. They had a new electric Jeep that the kids could drive and Mattie's little buddy Josh was in love with this car. We were laughing about how well he could drive it and what a "boy thing" it was. Then I quipped, "Yah, Josh was in "Heaven." Mattie, without missing a beat, whips around and says with wide eyes, "Josh is in HEAVEN?!?" Oh my poor sweet daughter. After losing Julia and processing Heaven with her, that was the WRONG thing for me to say! I had to try to back peddle and explain that NO, Josh is NOT in Heaven. He is just fine. That it was just a saying. I felt horrible and and yet it was funny (and not funny!) at the same time. The things we don't even think about. Words just come out of our mouths. Phrases we throw out every day that mean nothing. However, to a 4-year old who is processing the death of her baby sister, a phrase like "Josh was in Heaven," is alarming and shocking. She was afraid she just lost one of her best friends, too. The bottom line is that it is sad that Mattie has had to process what Heaven is at 4 years old. That a phrase like "I'm in Heaven" or "Josh is in Heaven" can not be used without Mattie being a bit confused and alarmed because she had lost someone she loves. That makes me sad.